I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
