i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why didn't you poke me back
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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