If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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