I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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