i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
