Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
