Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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