Already got asked if we're dating
i don't like sucking hair
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
