I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
