I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
