The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
