I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
