i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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