So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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