you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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