Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
