No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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