Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
