So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
