I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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