if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
