i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
