Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
