I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
sarcasm needs its own font
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
