yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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