So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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