Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
