Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
