I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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