All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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