Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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