my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
false alarm, still single
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