Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
