I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
