I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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