there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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