I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
