Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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