either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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