your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
that may or may not have been my penis.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
