i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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