You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
