he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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