My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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