This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
