It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
