White coat. Heels.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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