i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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