oh god the rape fog is back!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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