You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
