she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I deserve this hangover.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
