Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
