All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
