allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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