you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
